BILAWAL BHUTTO; FANCY SLOGANS & STUPID NOTIONS !

Bokata-Bokata! Buzdil Khan!Tsunami ka soolab (?)!Lawange…Pakistan ka (?) Kashmir Laawange!These are but just a few of the pearls of wisdom shared by Bilawal Bhutto in his inaugural days as the “gen next” of Pakistani politics & his Pakistan People’s Party (PPP).Sounds eerily familiar to a similar coronation a few months back in India.Its deja vu and seems “har shaakh pe Pappu baitha hai”!

Touted as the biggest thing to happen to Pakistan in the last 20 years (after Gullu Butt?), Bilawal has left no stone unturned to be the butt of all jokes.Foreign accent, poor Urdu , effeminate mannerisms & a bungling persona make him an easy target in the machoistic politics of Pakistan.While delivering “bulldog dialogues” (as per Hasan Nisar) he is unable to look up from the script & indulges in mock anger & ridiculous voice modulations – like being locked in a room with the grunts of Monica Seles, Maria Sharapova & Serena Williams to keep you company!

Trying to imitate Zulfiqar Ali Bhutto’s firebrand style & the mindless rantings of Benazir Bhutto, Bilawal is ending up making a caricature of himself.His conduct during speeches has been farcical & immature. (Sherry Rehman are you listening?)

He drives himself into a misplaced frenzy by frequently alluding to being the “nawasa” of ZA Bhutto & the son of “shaheed” Benazir to gain sympathy & establish a connect with the famous title – “Bhutto” & repeatedly shouts “may Bhutto hoon” (may—phonetic expression of Bilawal’s dialect).The more he shout the more the “Zardari” in the name gets accentuated.

Bilawal showcased his terrific hold on Urdu when he coined the term “Tsunami ka soolab (?)” (its “sailaab”) and this has got Faiz,Iqbal & Ghalib turning & loading their guns in their graves.To cement credentials he opened the Sind Cultural Festival by delivering a speech in English, wearing a Superman t-shirt!!!! (Clark Kent was from Sind ?) Then he came up with a phrase “desi-donkey-derby”…what does this mean??????Can any Sindhi please explain this?For me it implies that the guy is definitely a “desi donkey” with pretentions to compete in a “derby”.

Compounding his troubles is the issue of Bilawal’s genes. Father Asif Ali Zardari tried to be a leader but ended up being a “dealer”.Not much of an intelligence to fall back on Bilawal becomes insolent & crass in his speeches.He calls Nawaz Sharif, the Prime Minister, a “cat having milk from (Joe) Biden’s cup”, Imran Khan – “buzdil (coward) Khan”, Shahbaz Sharif -a progeny of Zia-ul-Haq & Altaf Hussain is threatened with personal vendetta by the chocolate faced disaster -in-waiting himself!

His reference to the Indian Mars mission as “frivolous” smacks of envy & mental bankruptcy.And this time China cant help- their orbiter is sleeping peacefully in the Pacific!!!!

He even got the concept of the “External Affairs” ministry wrong & reportedly had an affair with the incumbent minister ,Hina Rabbani Khar. True love.com?(as per the Weekly Blitz,Bangladesh)

Now when this unintelligent man wants to get entire Kashmir back from India but does he realise he will have to give “10 percent ” to his dad! Old habits die hard, isnt it Mr Zardari?

Pakistan is most welcome to compete & better India in every aspect.But why did they have to develop their own Pappu (call him “Billu” to avoid patent issues)?

Its evident that son’s dont really inherit the political mantle of their father/ mother – for eg Rahul “Pappu” Gandhi, Farooq Abdullah, Omar Abdullah & poor Mulayam Singh Yadav doesnt know which buffalo to blame for the “specimen” called Akhilesh Yadav. Talking of “kapoot ka soolab” – Abhishek Bachchan- but for him Amitabh Bachchan wouldnt search for work at age 72!!!

Thankfully ,as yet, Rehman Malik & Digvijay Singh are not intending to unleash their genes on the hapless millions in the two countries!!!

But the same isnt true for the girls.Indira Gandhi,Benazir Bhutto,Sheikh Haseena,Khaleda Zia & Chandrika Kumaratunga are all stellar torchbearers of the legacy of their fathers or husbands.Why dont we convince “Billu” & “Pappu” to undergo sex change and may be then….Billo Rani & Ragini MMS can be their new names too!

This Amul Ad/ topical on Bilawal Bhutto came up after Bilawal’s unrealistic call to arms for getting entire Kashmir to be a part of Pakistan.A caricature depicting Bilawal Bhutto is shown alighting from a car with a security guard in tow & pointing a finger at the Amul Girl to not to stop his path.The Amul Girl has stopped his car from moving ahead-probably on a confrontational path on Kashmir.

The Tag Line…Bilawal Phutto is a take on the protagonists name & Phutto is play on the hindi word “phuto” implying -get lost (or to go away & not lay eyes on Kashmir)

The Punch Line…Makes You Fighting Fit…extols the virtues of the Amul Butter as also subtly hints at fighting back any designs of inimical forces on the integrity of India.

Lack of political ideology & corruption has forced the political parties in the sub continent to rely on personality based politics.Practically resulting in dynastic rule-less the Monarchy. Mostly the “heir apparent” is good for nothing & is foisted upon the people.They tend to start believing their hypocritical portrayals & make life miserable for the hapless electorate.Its time to shun this brand of politics. Otherwise we shall have no one to blame, as after all WE GET THE GOVERNMENT WE DESERVE!

In 1969, angels representing the people of India & Pakistan had assembled in heaven to discuss the fate of the two countries.Disgusted with the way things were going they decided to give 50 years to the two peoples to improve their lot.Failing which they decided to unleash disaster & havoc by ensuring the ascendancy of incompetent leaders.If we dont improve the way we run our affairs then Pappu & Billu shall be Prime Ministers in 2018/2019! Qayamat duur nahin hai…God gave us a 50 year lease..5 of those are still left- or “Bokata,bokata” (term used to declare victory in kite flying) will be a joke directed upon us by these buffoons!

 26 October 14 – London; While leading the “million march” on Kashmir,Bilawal Bhutto was pelted with tomatoes,shoes & rotten eggs by his fellow countrymen! Bokata !

PAPA KEHTE HAIN PAPPU BADA NAAM KAREGA !

Once Rahul Gandhi had been seen as the future of a youthful India & his 129 year old Indian National Congress (INC) Party.Soon,he led his party to disaster at the hustings and mutated from the biggest hope to the biggest dope -aka Pappu! To compound issues, he was found sleeping through (oh so blissfully) a heated debate being led by his Party men on the Railway Budget to corner the Narendra Modi led NDA government.

Why would Rahul Gandhi ,the designated “Gladiator” of the Congress Party ,doze off in parliament & expose himself to the daggers & sarcastic barbs of his rivals?How could be he so dumb?Did it happen?

The answer to all of this is a big & hilarious – YES!..and it happened while he was sitting right behind the party colleague making an impassioned case against the government! Rahul probably emulated a certain Arvind Kejriwal, that it pays to be in the news,somehow, for good or bad reasons.So he conjured a controversy! This is sacrifice in the best Indian traditions.He sacrificed himself for the Party as otherwise who would notice the 44 seat rump of the INC in a humongous 544 seat Indian Parliament. Mommy Sonia Gandhi, of Italian ascent, had sacrificed the Prime Ministership in return for a zero accountability position as the Puppeteer in the UPA dispensation headed by a mute puppet named Manmohan Singh!!!

Rahul Gandhi probably slept to escape the misery of his actual life.In his dreams “impossible is nothing”.

He dreamt that his mother had finally allowed him to chase his ambition..of being a gardener in the Parliament lawns…in a dhoti & gamcha and his Venezuelan girlfriend bringing him a spartan meal of chapatis & onion (what else would a gardner eat after the UPA government’s legacy of price rise!). He also found the secret of dealing with his nightmare Arnab Goswami, hidden in jack fruit ! In his dream, uncle Manmohan had a tongue & it was recovered from the deepest vaults of the kingdom of Psycho-fancia, ruled by an evil Queen (any guesses?). Furthermore, uncle Digvijay Singh is seen having a zip lock on his mouth which is configured to open in 9999 AD.

But in his dream he still had his bad moments.He dreamt that he was plucked from his gardening pursuits by a Robert Vadra when the latter bought the garden to develop a Pub!

Where’s sister Priyanka Gandhi?She was still campaigning in Rae Bareilly & Amethi & exhorting the people to vote out (!) her brother & mother!

How did things come to such a pass for the Gandhi scion that from “Shehzada (Crown Prince)” he transformed into “Pappu” – a disrespectful sobriquet used to describe a juvenile & incompetent nincompoop! Even the Amul ad line had earleir captured the euphoria surrounding his elevation to the post of INC Vice President and the possibility of being named as his Party’s Prime Ministerial candidate.

Rahul turned out to be a “dud” largely on the back of his bizarre actions.In an effort to connect with the people & their distaste for a controversial government ordnance, Rahul tore the document in a press conference which had been promulgated by his lParty’s PM nominee.This immature behaviour was compounded by his inability to articulate a coherent response to his Party’s defeat in the Delhi Assembly and stressed by his confused choice of words.He gradually lost ground when he refused to take on the BJP & NDA Prime Ministerial candidate,Narendra Modi, in the build up to the elections.As the campaign progressed in comparison to a stuttering Rahul, Modi emerged better prepared,organised & focussed.

The final nail in the coffin was the interview with a famous & aggressive TV presenter,Arnab Goswammy,known for unsettling his guests.In the interview Rahul Gandhi failed to present any substantial views and vision for an emerging India.It was as if Rahul knew the questions to be asked…but it seems the interviewer changed the order & Rahul still answered in a prepared sequence! It was an unmitigated disaster and Rahul came out battered & bruised from the his first ever interview in 10 years.(Sometimes it is better to stay quiet and let the world think…we know the rest!!)Whereas Narendra Modi emerged stronger and aggressive from the same bed of burning coal in another interview with Goswamy.

These and many more incidents cemented the opinion in the country that Rahul Gandhi was just a famous name & possessed none of the abilities of his illustrious family members (Jawahar Lal Nehru,Indira Gandhi,Rajiv Gandhi). He was a political novice in the tumultuous cauldron of Indian Politics and brought nothing worthwhile to the table and was’nt coming up to the expectations of his family and party members

For his immaturity,juvenile behaviour & lack of initiation into politics in spite of 10 years in the arena he earned the sobriquet “Pappu” on the social media & his reputation was ripped & tattered mercilessly day in and day out in a net savvy India.

The featured Amul Strip is amazing to the last detail as it depictis Parliament benches and a sleeping Rahul Gandhi falling over to his right and in the spot light (denoting live TV coverage) while the Amul Girl attired in a combination symbolic of Indian politicians is making a sincere effort in a debate replete with a clutch of notes and has a bewildered and aghast expression while attempting to wake up the Party leader!!!

The Tag Line...Duty Sleep?… is a question asked (almost rebuking) and a catchy spin on the concept of sleep working towards enhancing the beauty and complexion of a person as also a pun intended on the fact that the Gandhi scion was sleeping in Parliament when he should be participating in debates and discharging his responsibilities & duties as a political leader.

The Punch Line is simplistic and simply exhorts Rahul Gandhi to wake up literally and figuratively as well as endorses the Amul Butter by exhorting the readers to wake up to its superior taste and quality and to adopt it as brand of choice.

As I sign out,Rahul Gandhi has done it again.While responding to a visual of Narendra Modi playing drums (dhol) during his Japan visit.Visiting a parliamentary constituency bereft of electricity and basic facilities he quipped to the media (as if alluding to a burning Rome & Nero) that while the backward constituency languishes, the Prime Minister is busy playing the “dhol”.It would have been a perfect sound byte by an opposition politician but for the small detail that the constituency in question was Amethi – represented by Rahul himself since 2004 (!!!!Time to wake up Pappu!!!)and which has been represented by his father and uncle since the 1980s!So how is Modi guilty?????

While this goes to print it is reliably learnt that Congressmen have secretly requisitioned the services of Leonardo di Caprio to carry out Inception in the dreamy and drowsy head of “Pappu” – to convince him to take a solo voyage to the Bermuda Triangle!

But has anyone ever made it back from the Bermuda Triangle??????