Tag Archives: AMITABH BACHCHAN

BILAWAL BHUTTO; FANCY SLOGANS & STUPID NOTIONS !

Bokata-Bokata! Buzdil Khan!Tsunami ka soolab (?)!Lawange…Pakistan ka (?) Kashmir Laawange!These are but just a few of the pearls of wisdom shared by Bilawal Bhutto in his inaugural days as the “gen next” of Pakistani politics & his Pakistan People’s Party (PPP).Sounds eerily familiar to a similar coronation a few months back in India.Its deja vu and seems “har shaakh pe Pappu baitha hai”!

Touted as the biggest thing to happen to Pakistan in the last 20 years (after Gullu Butt?), Bilawal has left no stone unturned to be the butt of all jokes.Foreign accent, poor Urdu , effeminate mannerisms & a bungling persona make him an easy target in the machoistic politics of Pakistan.While delivering “bulldog dialogues” (as per Hasan Nisar) he is unable to look up from the script & indulges in mock anger & ridiculous voice modulations – like being locked in a room with the grunts of Monica Seles, Maria Sharapova & Serena Williams to keep you company!

Trying to imitate Zulfiqar Ali Bhutto’s firebrand style & the mindless rantings of Benazir Bhutto, Bilawal is ending up making a caricature of himself.His conduct during speeches has been farcical & immature. (Sherry Rehman are you listening?)

He drives himself into a misplaced frenzy by frequently alluding to being the “nawasa” of ZA Bhutto & the son of “shaheed” Benazir to gain sympathy & establish a connect with the famous title – “Bhutto” & repeatedly shouts “may Bhutto hoon” (may—phonetic expression of Bilawal’s dialect).The more he shout the more the “Zardari” in the name gets accentuated.

Bilawal showcased his terrific hold on Urdu when he coined the term “Tsunami ka soolab (?)” (its “sailaab”) and this has got Faiz,Iqbal & Ghalib turning & loading their guns in their graves.To cement credentials he opened the Sind Cultural Festival by delivering a speech in English, wearing a Superman t-shirt!!!! (Clark Kent was from Sind ?) Then he came up with a phrase “desi-donkey-derby”…what does this mean??????Can any Sindhi please explain this?For me it implies that the guy is definitely a “desi donkey” with pretentions to compete in a “derby”.

Compounding his troubles is the issue of Bilawal’s genes. Father Asif Ali Zardari tried to be a leader but ended up being a “dealer”.Not much of an intelligence to fall back on Bilawal becomes insolent & crass in his speeches.He calls Nawaz Sharif, the Prime Minister, a “cat having milk from (Joe) Biden’s cup”, Imran Khan – “buzdil (coward) Khan”, Shahbaz Sharif -a progeny of Zia-ul-Haq & Altaf Hussain is threatened with personal vendetta by the chocolate faced disaster -in-waiting himself!

His reference to the Indian Mars mission as “frivolous” smacks of envy & mental bankruptcy.And this time China cant help- their orbiter is sleeping peacefully in the Pacific!!!!

He even got the concept of the “External Affairs” ministry wrong & reportedly had an affair with the incumbent minister ,Hina Rabbani Khar. True love.com?(as per the Weekly Blitz,Bangladesh)

Now when this unintelligent man wants to get entire Kashmir back from India but does he realise he will have to give “10 percent ” to his dad! Old habits die hard, isnt it Mr Zardari?

Pakistan is most welcome to compete & better India in every aspect.But why did they have to develop their own Pappu (call him “Billu” to avoid patent issues)?

Its evident that son’s dont really inherit the political mantle of their father/ mother – for eg Rahul “Pappu” Gandhi, Farooq Abdullah, Omar Abdullah & poor Mulayam Singh Yadav doesnt know which buffalo to blame for the “specimen” called Akhilesh Yadav. Talking of “kapoot ka soolab” – Abhishek Bachchan- but for him Amitabh Bachchan wouldnt search for work at age 72!!!

Thankfully ,as yet, Rehman Malik & Digvijay Singh are not intending to unleash their genes on the hapless millions in the two countries!!!

But the same isnt true for the girls.Indira Gandhi,Benazir Bhutto,Sheikh Haseena,Khaleda Zia & Chandrika Kumaratunga are all stellar torchbearers of the legacy of their fathers or husbands.Why dont we convince “Billu” & “Pappu” to undergo sex change and may be then….Billo Rani & Ragini MMS can be their new names too!

This Amul Ad/ topical on Bilawal Bhutto came up after Bilawal’s unrealistic call to arms for getting entire Kashmir to be a part of Pakistan.A caricature depicting Bilawal Bhutto is shown alighting from a car with a security guard in tow & pointing a finger at the Amul Girl to not to stop his path.The Amul Girl has stopped his car from moving ahead-probably on a confrontational path on Kashmir.

IMG-20141018-WA0002

The Tag LineBilawal Phutto is a take on the protagonists name & Phutto is play on the hindi word “phuto” implying -get lost (or to go away & not lay eyes on Kashmir)

The Punch LineMakes You Fighting Fit…extols the virtues of the Amul Butter as also subtly hints at fighting back any designs of inimical forces on the integrity of India.

Lack of political ideology & corruption has forced the political parties in the sub continent to rely on personality based politics.Practically resulting in dynastic rule-less the Monarchy. Mostly the “heir apparent” is good for nothing & is foisted upon the people.They tend to start believing their hypocritical portrayals & make life miserable for the hapless electorate.Its time to shun this brand of politics. Otherwise we shall have no one to blame, as after all WE GET THE GOVERNMENT WE DESERVE!

In 1969, angels representing the people of India & Pakistan had assembled in heaven to discuss the fate of the two countries.Disgusted with the way things were going they decided to give 50 years to the two peoples to improve their lot.Failing which they decided to unleash disaster & havoc by ensuring the ascendancy of incompetent leaders.If we dont improve the way we run our affairs then Pappu & Billu shall be Prime Ministers in 2018/2019! Qayamat duur nahin hai…God gave us a 50 year lease..5 of those are still left- or “Bokata,bokata” (term used to declare victory in kite flying) will be a joke directed upon us by these buffoons!

 26 October 14 – London; While leading the “million march” on Kashmir,Bilawal Bhutto was pelted with tomatoes,shoes & rotten eggs by his fellow countrymen! Bokata !

ALL HAIL MARY KOM -THE UNBREAKABLE ‘BHARATIYA NARI’ VER 5.1.1.1

She was just 18 and was going to church on a Sunday. Wearing a traditional wraparound dress she took a rickshaw.Suddenly the rickshaw puller caught her hand and tried to molest her.A kick and a punch later he was lying flat on the ground.The girl had saved herself.And destiny had played its card to give India its future Boxing World Champion – MC Mary Kom aka Magnificent Mary!

Born in a poor tribal family of Manipur, Mangte Chungneijang (MC) took up  boxing after Dingko Singh’s gold at the 1998 Asian Games and adopted the name Mary (her deep faith in God) & Kom (tribal title).Practising punches late into the night, her goal was simple: to lift her family out of poverty and live up to her name.

Women’s boxing had not come off age in India in the 1990s & early 2000 when Mary took up the sport.From fighting poverty,facing her father’s ire for making an unconventional choice to over coming her disadvantage of height and reach she braved it all and eventually came out on top.Mary was a multiple World Champion by 2006.Mary then gave birth to twin boys and took a two year break to raise them.Against all odds she once again won the AIBA Women’s World Boxing Championships in 2008 & 2010 and a Bronze at the 2010 Guangzhou Asian Games. 

MK1

Now the five time World Champion set her eyes on an Olympic berth and was the lone Indian woman boxer for the London Olympics 2012 where the sport was making its debut.Mary Kom won the Bronze and was the lone Indian boxer to win a medal.The fact that she was a mother of two only enhanced her reputation and people recognised the sacrifices the “super mom” had had to make to achieve her dreams.

Amul commemorated the feat with a fitting and odious ad depicting Mary Kom’s medal winning feat and her twins shown playing with the medal.

mkom        MK5

Taking a break and giving birth to her third child Mary soon went off the boxing map.In 2014 the sport made its debut at the Glasgow Common Wealth Games (CWG) and making a comeback Mary  lost to Pinky Jangra in the trials who went on to win the Bronze at Glasgow.

The daggers were out and the critics had written off Mary and some had even grudged her for promoting the biopic ‘Mary Kom’.In the final round of the 2014 Incheon Asian Games trials “the comeback girl ” once again fought Pinky Jangra.And Won!And the rest is history.

At Incheon Mary won the first ever Gold medal for an Indian women boxer at the Asian Games in a closely fought Fly Weight final. The legend of Mary Kom just got bigger- the Super Mom had now become the Unbreakable Wonder Woman.

This is where I come in with some hard facts.

A word of caution for the boyfriends of the MC Mary Kom Boxing Academy graduates- while on a date please carry head guard, gum shields, abdominal guard for the family jewels, insurance papers and a slip giving out whom to inform if found knocked out! And yes maintain distance- outside hooking range-when getting too mushy!

Amitabh Bachchan (Big B) will now need to be approached for re-shooting the famous song “Mere Angne Mein Tumhara Kya Kaam Hai” which extols the virtue of various kinds of wives – “Jiski Biwi Lambi,.Patli..Choti…” (tall,slim,short) – to add “Jiski Biwi Boxer…. uska kamre mein kya kaam hai”- obviously its better to sleep in another room than getting punched for snoring or for changing the TV channel without warning!

Infact with a “Boxer” wife most in-laws related issues are also likely to be resolved “amicably”.

I was wondering that its a good way to resolve political rivalries too.Boxing requires same height -weight opponents.So the line up for the marquee fights in the Indian Pollitics Boxing League for Women could be Jayalalita versus Mayawati, Sushma Swaraj versus Mamata Di, Uma Bharti versus Vasundhra Raje & Sonia Gandhi versus Aambika Soni.

Since Jayalalitha is jailed she can be matched up with Om Prakash Chautala as well (Learning of the prospect Mr Chautala immediately sought bail). For same “political corner” opponents, Arvind Kejriwal shall refer the bout , this way the opponents can atleast punch the referee and avoid a no contest!  And to resolve disputes the adjudicator shall be Suresh Kalmadi, for his impeccable record of integrity.

Coming to the Amul ad/ topical on Mary Kom.It depicts the release of the biopic ‘Mary Kom’.The scene is a take on a poster of the movie showing Priyanka Chopra (PC) as Mary Kom, attired in a similar sports gear and throwing a punch.The Amul Girl is shown as a second or a sparring partner holding the punching bag and wearing protective gear .The movie has been critically acclaimed and is aSanjay Leela Bhansali production, directed by Omung Kumar.

The Tag Line…Kombatant !… is a play on the name of MC Mary Kom and is a fitting expression for the boxer who has had to combat many a odd to reach the pinnacle of her sport.It also doubles up for denoting a fighter, which all boxers are.

The Punch Line..Everybody’s Favourite Box..is a subtle hint for the not so discerning that the strip is about a Boxer and ofcourse endorses the primma donna status of the Amul Butter as being the favourite butter box for all!

Before I sign off.A word for the “home minister” Onkohler-Mary Kom’s husband- Keep up the good work and you are as much an inspiration as your wife!!!

Lastly,Alia Bhatt should represent India in boxing to avoid Sarita Devi type judging and refereeing controversies.A walkover is a better option for her opponents – better than being alone with her for four rounds!!!! 

And my title is tribute to the unbreakable spirit of Mary Kom who has recast the image of a “Bharatiya Nari”.

The ver 5.1.1.1 – 5 World Championships, 1 Olympic Bronze Medal & 1 Asian Games Bronze & Gold Medal each!

The movie needs a sequel…2016 Olympics…Mary Kom…Gold! A PERFECT HAPPY ENDING!!!!